Elaine Lin Hering, author of “Unlearning Silence,” on keeping authentic perspectives at the center of workplace culture.
Nearly all leaders want to build safe, inclusive workplaces – not just because they’ve been shown to improve innovation and business performance, but because they benefit teams’ health and life satisfaction.
But often, the focus is on getting people to “speak up” and share more freely, especially those who’ve been historically silenced, like women and employees of color. In her new book Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully, Elaine Lin Hering explains why we need to rethink this paradigm.
“The idea of ‘speaking up’ puts the burden on the individual,” Hering explains. “But if they’re calling something out, they’re usually most impacted by it already.” Speaking up adds extra cognitive and emotional labor to their existing job – not to mention these groups often shoulder invisible labor, like caretaking, outside of work as well.
So Hering proposes a new model: cultures of voice. These workplaces don’t need to make space for authentic voices, because they’re woven into how they work.
Unlearning Silence provides strategies people at any career stage can use to own their voice, and encourage others to use theirs. For this guide, we sat down with Hering to frame this conversation for leaders.
How can those in positions of power create environments where speaking authentically is just the way things are?
Here are six concrete strategies.
Build relationships to create a communication baseline
Using one’s voice can be a vulnerable act. Most people will only use their voice if they feel known as their authentic selves, and have learned firsthand that it’s safe to share their experiences, thoughts, and ideas.
That’s why a culture of voice should also prioritize workplace belonging and psychological safety – and building it takes intentional relationship-building. “If you’re working to create a culture of voice, you need regular touchpoints on where people are at – not just how work’s going, but how they’re doing as a person, what their aspirations are,” explains Hering.
These relationships offer a chance for leaders to listen actively. What do their teams’ voices actually sound like? They also set the stage for awareness when people are feeling silenced, or even experiencing negative repercussions for using their voice. “If you don’t have that baseline of communication, why should someone trust you enough to tell you what’s happening?” Hering continues.
What it could look like
- “So far, you’ve done a great job on these types of projects. Is that the kind of work you want to keep doing? Is there something else you’d like to do more of?”
- “What’s weighing on you right now? Which of our workplace policies are making that easier, or harder?”
- “We’ll keep this standing one-on-one Zoom call. But you don’t need to wait for this meeting to raise things – share anything you want to in our private Slack chat, and we can talk about it as it comes up.”
Get to know your teams’ communication styles, and build processes around them
Relationships (who we trust), and substance (what we share) are two important components of using our voice. But process – how we share – is just as crucial, and often overlooked. It’s far too common for leaders to silence their people with exclusive communication norms, then wonder why no one is speaking up.
Over-focusing on verbal communication is a classic example. “There’s so much more to voice than who talks in a 30-minute meeting,” Hering explains. “When we create more avenues for communication, we shift away from the idea that space is limited – that when one voice is shared, another is heard from less.”
Instead, actively learn how people like to communicate (Atlassian Playbook’s My User Manual is a great tool to do this). Then, build clear, explicit norms that remove ambiguity and work for many different communication styles. This can also help to address implicit norms leaders may be unintentionally establishing through their own behavior, like responding to emails immediately.
Leaders should be prepared to push their comfort zone as they establish these processes – for example, getting more comfortable with remote-first and asynchronous communication tools. But in Hering’s view, that’s all part of the process.
What it could look like
- “We have a 100% anonymous HR app for sharing concerns and experiences. Use this to share anything you don’t want to talk about with your manager, no matter how serious the issue is.”
- “If your presence on a Zoom call is marked optional, we don’t expect you to be there. If you’re interested in the agenda, you can join or just watch the recording later.”
- “Our team culture is super direct with feedback. But I want you to know that feedback, even when negative, is never an indication that you’re in trouble.”
Ask detailed questions to call in more perspectives
Asking “any other ideas?” at the end of a meeting isn’t really creating a culture of voice. Instead, leaders should use detailed, personalized questions to gather information from the unique perspectives on their team.
Here are three question formats Hering suggests.
Invite people to disagree with you
“If you never hear someone disagree with the group or their manager, they’re probably not using their voice,” says Hering. Instead, prompt people to share constructive criticism with detailed, specific questions.
- “What problems do you see with this approach?”
- “Can you think of anything we might be underestimating?”
- “Does this seem feasible to you, time- and resource-wise?”
- “Could this decision inconvenience you in any way?”
Call on people’s experience and expertise
It’s easy to think that someone’s place in the company hierarchy is all that matters, and more senior voices should speak the loudest. But in Unlearning Silence, Hering shares that power based on knowledge or experience is just as important. To call on your teams’ voices, remind them of their unique bases of power.
- “What does this look like from an engineering perspective?”
- “As someone who’s just joined the team, can you give us a fresh take?”
- “You’ve probably used services like this outside work. What did you want from those experiences as a customer?”
- “You worked in the arts before entering tech. Visually, what do you think of the rebrand?”
Use clarifying questions to help people be more direct
Especially when talking to people in power, employees often attempt to soften the impact of what they truly mean – a phenomenon Hering describes as “mitigated speech.”
If someone is concerned about the ethics of a hiring decision, they might ask “have you checked our HR policies?” instead of raising the problem directly.
Here are some examples of mitigated speech, and how a leader could respond with clarifying questions.
- “Should we consult with legal?”
- “Do you think that would be a good idea? Do you see any possible problems with the legality of this approach?”
- “When does the board meeting finish again?”
- “Not for two hours – but do you need a break? Would you like to take 20 minutes to grab some food?”
- “Do you know what I’ll be working on next month?”
- “I’m so sorry I haven’t assigned anything yet – that’s only down to me being busy. Is there anything you’re hoping to work on?”
Use your own voice to lead by example
Healthy workplaces allow people to express themselves fully, including emotions sometimes coded as “unprofessional.” To create a culture of voice, one of the most powerful things leaders can do is model that behavior.
Hering suggests naming and acknowledging your emotions, but making it clear that they aren’t your staff’s responsibility. “Even if you don’t handle something well in the moment, you can come back and start again, whether it’s 30 minutes or a day later,” she says.
What it could look like
- “That client meeting was really frustrating and confusing. I’m annoyed. Let me be clear that I think you did a great job in there. It’s not our fault we’ll need to rework.”
- “To be honest, I’m not at my best today – I’m a bit distracted.”
- “Do you have a moment to chat? I slept on this, and I want to apologize for how I reacted to your feedback yesterday.”
When employees share, use your reaction to show them it’s safe
It’s one thing to encourage people to use their voice. But according to Hering, how leaders react when they do so is what truly builds a culture of voice.
“Managers get to be human too,” Hering explains. “Leaders are often taught to hold a poker face, but your reaction always leaks out anyway.” But it’s crucial that leaders don’t get defensive, ask employees to prove themselves, or question what they experienced.
What it could look like
- “Wow, I’m really surprised to hear you had that experience at the team retreat. Actually, I think I need a moment to process this so I can better listen and support you.”
- “Thank you so much for telling me. I want to make sure I’m getting this right. Can you walk me through what happened in more detail?”
- “Ooof. These aren’t the values I want our team to operate on. What do you need to feel safe as we work on resolving this?”
Do the work independently, instead of relying on employees to call problems out
Instead of waiting for your people to raise issues, or asking them to help you create a culture of voice, start with self-led education. Of course, you can and should talk to your team. But speak to them as individuals, not experts on any identities or groups they belong to.
“Expecting individuals to speak up absolves leaders of responsibility,” says Hering. “People have often asked me what it’s like to be an Asian American woman in corporate America. Why can’t they Google it?”
Say you wanted to create a more neurodiversity- or caregiver-friendly workplace. Instead of talking to employees from these groups, a leader could seek out books and podcasts, or follow influencers from these communities on Linkedin. This will give them ideas for how their culture and processes could be improved – before talking to their people.
What it could look like
- Implementing more flexible, hybrid policies to support people with caregiving responsibilities
- Emphasizing that sick days include mental health days or days to care for sick children, and not requiring any detail or explanation when one is taken
- Updating your skill set to be more comfortable with asynchronous communication tools and managing distributed teams as well as in person
“As leaders, our roles come with responsibility.” says Hering. “Instead of asking people who aren’t leaders to speak up, we must investigate the role silence plays in our teams, and the ways our behaviors and actions might be silencing the same people we support and care about. That’s how we can unleash the talent on our teams, and create the workplaces we truly want.”
Unlearning Silence is available now. Connect with Elaine Lin Hering on LinkedIn, or learn more about her speaking, writing, and consulting on her website.